May 12, 2019
Holy smokes!!!! We have been dying to share the gender but at the same time, we’ve really enjoyed keeping it between us because it’s (probably) going to be our last baby and we loved keeping a little piece of this journey private for awhile. Today is the day! The news is finally out!!! I am honestly so relieved that I don’t have to keep a secret anymore because it has been HARD not to let it slip! We could NOT be more thrilled, blessed, or READY to announce that Baby Number Two is a……………
Can you believe it?!!? I still can’t sometimes. He kicks and wiggles and punches and moves non-stop and I am reminded that I probably have a little athlete in there just like Tim (who played pro hockey for 12 years and his mom tells me that he was a crazy baby… oh lord!), which is partly exciting and partly terrifying because he might be a WILD MAN! There is literally never a moment where I’m not reminded that this pregnancy is a miracle–but it is SO DIFFERENT. It’s been sooooo opposite from my pregnancy with Leni. With Leni, I didn’t have any nausea at all, barely felt any different than normal and honestly just loved being pregnant from start to finish with her. With Baby Boy, the road has been a little bit rockier. I was soooo nauseous for the first three months and narcoleptic tired 24/7, plus I’ve had crazy food aversions and haven’t been able to eat meat or many vegetables for months now… not to mention the fact my baby bump is bigger at 6 months pregnant than it was at nearly 8+ months when I was pregnant with Leni! It’s crazy how stark the differences have been!!
Tim and I have always wanted one boy and one girl, because I have one brother and Tim has one sister, so it’s just what we’re used to. We had a really hard time getting pregnant so we had to do IVF, so we were actually able to choose the gender of the baby, which was bizarre and not something I had ever planned to be able to do, but it is part of the process and something that was presented to us. It’s all pretty complicated but we didn’t really “choose the gender”, but rather just chose the embryo that was the strongest and healthiest that gave us the highest chance of having a successful pregnancy, and that embryo just happened to be a boy.
If I’m being totally transparent, my mama heart feels like I won’t be able to love a little boy as much as I love Leni, but my brain reminds me that that is totally CRAZY and that the amount of love gets multiplied, not divided with each new baby. But one thing I know for sure, I have a lottttttt of pink and purple clothes, toys and baby gear that aren’t going to be used for Baby Number Two! As much as we plan to stop at two kids, part of me isn’t ready to give away all the baby girl stuff just in CASE we change our minds and want another baby… (don’t tell Tim, he might keel over – ha).
In all of this, I’m also reminded that God’s timing is PERFECT because we had planned to be pregnant much earlier with this baby but because I had a miscarriage and then had to go through fertility treatments: this baby is a lot later on the timeline than we had originally hoped. We wanted them two years apart, but they will be closer to three years apart in reality. However, I am actually so so so so soooo happy that we had so many extra months with just Leni to focus on because it’s been so incredible to watch her grow as a two year old and if we had been pregnant when we wanted to originally, I wouldn’t have this extra time to enjoy watching her grow.
It still seems SO unreal that we’re having a little boy, and I am so grateful for this blessing after our difficult journey to get here. I pray for mamas DAILY that are hoping for their rainbow babies, and for those who have endured the heartbreak of infertility and loss. It never gets easier, but I truly believe God has had a plan for our lives all along and that He is so, so good.
The beautiful tropical photos were shot by Taena for Flytographer! (Tim isn’t in them because he wasn’t on the trip – ha – sorry Tim!) Wherever you are in the world, Flytographer connects you with awesome photographers in your area! You can use the code EVASHOCKEY50 for $50 off a photoshoot or gift card!
Ultrasound photos shot by my friend Jennifer Wilson Photography!
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