February 12, 2019
Weíre Having a BABY!!!!
You heard rightÖ God has blessed us with Baby #2 on the way and our hearts are BURSTING with love and gratitude!!! Iím due in August, at the same time our house is scheduled to be done, so letís just say this summer is going to be EXCITING and BUSY!!
I have been dyyyyying to share the news with YOU, but after struggling with infertility and miscarriage – I wrote an entire blog about it here -† I was hesitant to talk about it (or let myself get too excited) until I got further along in this pregnancy. Even at this stage, I still have some fear in the back of my mind, but I also know God has this under control and he is watching over this sweet baby so I have peace knowing itís handled. People send me messages and leave me comments on a daily basis asking me when Baby #2 is coming, so Iím happy to finally give you the news youíve been waiting for – ha! Itís just starting to feel real (and my baby bump has officially POPPED!) and we are beyond excited for whatís coming!! To be totally honest, I have no idea how we are going to handle TWO KIDS with two busy jobs, no family in NC, crazy lives, traveling etc but I felt the same way before having Leni and I keep reminding myself that we will FIGURE IT OUT when it comes. Tim and I are such a good team and our dream is to have a family so I have no doubt that weíve got this! Our normal might look a little different than it does now (and itís already pretty hectic) but we will find a new normal and we will just love this little baby SO MUCH. Leni already talks about the baby non-stop and I know she is going to be the BEST Big Sister… after a little adjustment period of not being the only baby.
As far as my pregnancy, I can tell you itís WAY different than when I was pregnant with Leni Bow. With Leni, the only real symptom I had, was that I was e-x-h-a-u-s-t-e-d for the first three months, to the point where I honestly felt narcoleptic. I would have to pull my car off the side of the road to nap if I felt tired because I was scared of falling asleep at the wheel. If you know what a busy-body I normally am, youíll know that this was TOTALLY out of character for me, but since I wasnít nauseous and had a fairly smooth pregnancy, I really loved being pregnant and as soon as it was over, I couldnít wait to do it again.
Fast forward to Baby #2 and oh man, itís been another story completely. I have been on STRUGGLE STREET for the last two months and thought it would never end. I had the same level of exhaustion that I felt with Leni, but this time I have a toddler jumping on me who literally does not stop moving during the day. Plus, I have been sooooo nauseous and couldnít stand most foods. Timís been calling me a ďCarbitarianĒ because I literally lived off cereal and pizza and pasta and anything else that was straight carbs and zero health benefits for two months straight. ĎNormal Evaí barely eats carbs (I much prefer meat and veggies) so this was a shock to my system but you gotta do what you gotta do, Mama! I survived and I got a head start on my baby weight-gain – oof! My baby bump didnít even show until SIX MONTHS with Leni, and this time around my jeans are already too small. I can hardly even believe itís MY belly popping out so early. Hellllooooo, maternity jeans!
The crazy part of it all is that LIFE GOES ON. I still had all my obligations, work trips, and events to attend. Since no one knew I was pregnant; I had to act normal. I shoved a bagel in my mouth and did what I had to do. Since December, I flew to New York, Ontario, Vegas, Dallas and Indianapolis and almost threw-up in multiple planes, taxis and hotel rooms. I couldnít work-out and my skin stayed an unhealthy shade of green for the better part of December and JanuaryÖ but AMEN, HALLELUJAH, THANK YOU PREGNANCY GODS, I finally started feeling better in the last two weeks.
Honestly, the last couple months have been TOUGH, but I reminded myself over and over how insanely lucky I am to even be pregnant in the first place. Why? Because Good Lord, itís been tough to get to this place. It turns out that getting pregnant isnít as easy (for everyone) as Highschool Sex-Ed class makes it out to be. If youíve been following me for awhile, you probably know that weíve struggled with infertility over the years. We used fertility treatments (IUI, specifically) to have Leni and then I got pregnant naturally (which was a miracle) in the middle of 2018 and ended up having a miscarriage soon after. After that, I started back at the fertility clinic and went through endless tests and ultrasounds and appointments until we finally did another round of IUI, which failed, and left me feeling frustrated and hopeless.
We went back and forth for awhile and finally decided that were going to try In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) to try to get pregnant. Honestly, it was not fun. Iím usually a very tough and positive person but it was pretty brutal and painful and I was pumping SO many hormones into my body I didnít feel like myself for months. I canít even count how many injections I had to give myself (into my butt muscle – ouchhh) and expensive medications I went through. However, the miracle that is IVF is so incredible and every step of the way, Iíve been aware how lucky we are to be able to do IVF in the first place so even though the process was less than enjoyable, the opportunity and the potential outcome are so much more powerful in my mind. I tried my very best to have a positive mindset and keep stress to a minimum (easier said than done) and thankfully God had us covered and we found out mid-December that we would be having a little miracle baby!
Like a lot of people who struggle to get (and stay) pregnant, I have feelings of guilt that come along with my healthy pregnancy because I know there are so many people out there who are still on their pregnancy journey, struggling to get pregnant and have a baby of their own. All I can say, is have HOPE. Have PATIENCE. Have FAITH that it will work. Godís timing is perfect and mysterious all at the same time. Infertility and miscarriage are nothing to be ashamed of and I can honestly say that I felt a hundred times better when I finally talked about these topics openly because I felt like the weight of that secret was lifted and along the way, it helped a lot of people understand that they arenít alone. 1 in 5 women experience miscarriage. I donít even know how many people deal with infertility, but in my life alone, I know a LOT of people who have needed medical help to get pregnant. So if this is you, know that there are so many of us who have felt what youíre feeling and gone through what youíre going through. You are not alone. Youíve got this!
At some point I will write a full blog on the IVF process (if people want to know more) but for now I am just SO thrilled to share this HUGE secret with all of you. Babies are meant to be celebrated and loved and now this sweet baby that Iím growing has a place in so many more minds and hearts.
For now, Iím going to try to eat a vegetable or two, continue to work-out (I finally got back in the gym last week!) and continue to travel and take adventures for as long as my pregnancy will allow. Leni and I (and my baby bump) are heading to Hawaii for two weeks in March and I am SO EXCITED! Iím hunting on Lanai (with the Shockey crew) and then taking a week to explore Maui because I know my life is going to look a lot different in a few months so Iím taking advantage of only having one baby to hold onto while I can!
Please let me know if you have questions or want to know more! Iíll try to round-up the FAQ and follow-up with another blog soon!
Thank you to everyone for all your support and kindness – Tim and I appreciate you SO MUCH!
Thank you to my sweet friend, Jennifer, for these photos that I will cherish forever!
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